Where You Are Page 13

  His grip tightens on my waist and he pulls me closer. “You know good and damn well what it matters to me. It never stopped mattering.”

  The wall around my heart threatens to crumble but I push back that feeling and keep my chin up. “Well, I see you brought your date. What’s her name? Whore?”

  Lachlan’s eyes widen but he laughs out loud. “Wow, I didn’t realize you cared that much, Lane. If it bothers you, I’m sure I can ditch her.”

  I bite my bottom lip and sigh.

  “So, are you going to tell me the real reason you’re dating him? Obviously it’s not because you’re into him. You wouldn’t have kissed me otherwise. You’re not that type of girl, Lane.”

  “You don’t know what type of girl I am anymore, Lachlan.”

  “I know you’re still the girl I loved in high school. You’re still the girl that I gave my all to. Remember our first kiss?” he whispers. “You were so nervous. I snuck us into the chemistry lab.” He laughs but it’s humorless. “I wanted you so bloody bad, luv. I didn’t want to pull my lips away from yours. I wanted to devour you. Make you mine, forever. Your lips felt so soft, your breath minty from your gum.” His hand grips tighter around my waist, and my panties are soaking wet now. “Goddamn, I want you back, Lane. Please, let’s just forget what happened. We both made mistakes. I’m willing to forget about them if you are.”

  My heart is fluttering. How did this conversation take this drastic of a turn? We were just talking about his date and now we’re back to us. Back to the old us. The old damaged me.

  “No, Lachlan. No. I just can’t. Every time I look at you, all I see is…” I trail off, turning my head to keep the tears at bay. “Please. Just don’t.”

  He growls and pulls me so close every inch of us is touching. “Laney. I’m so sick of this bullshit game. I fucking love you. I always have. Please, let’s just start over.”

  Tears are building in my eyes. Jesus, I can’t believe this is happening. I refuse to cry in front of the entire wedding reception. “No, don’t you dare cry.” I try to pull away but he drags me back to him. “Tell me why you’re dating Aiden. Is it because you like him? Or are you trying to make me jealous? Because, luv, it’s fucking working. What did you put in his drink?”

  “It’s none of your business!”

  Lachlan growls and presses his lips against mine. In front of everyone. Jesus. It takes my entire being to push him away. I shake my head and start toward the door.

  “Oh, no you don’t.” Lachlan grabs me by the waist and pulls me to him, his green eyes dark and hungry. “Don’t you dare run away. I’m so fucking sick of you running. Grow a pair and talk to me. Talk to me about it! I’m hurting just as much as you are. I can help you.”

  “No, you can’t!” I’m yelling now, my voice cracking from the lump growing in my throat. “Nothing can take back what I did. What you did. Now, please let go.” I snatch my arm away, giving me enough time to break through the double doors. I race down the hallway toward the Exit doors when I’m grabbed from behind and pulled through the closest door.

  Lachlan gently shoves me into the room and I glance around when the light comes on. We’re in a small office. A desk, a small loveseat, and a few potted plants and file cabinets are positioned around the room.

  His fists are closed tightly at his sides. His shirt is tight against his upper chest, and fits all the way down to his waist. I don’t move. I can’t seem to take my eyes off of him. I want to move forward, to taste him. To know him again.

  His eyes dart toward my lips. God, I want him to kiss me again. “Are you going to talk to me?”

  Slowly, I shake my head. I’m not ready. I can barely live with myself now. Talking to him about that will only make it worse. Make the memories, make the pain, come back to torment me.

  “Have it your way.” He takes two steps toward me, wraps an arm around my waist, and pulls me toward him. “I’ll just have to show you what you’ve been missing, luv. Hold on tight.”

  Before I know what he’s doing, he leans down and takes my lips with his. My self-control must have been left in my dorm room, because I can’t help but kiss him back. His mouth molds to mind, marking his territory. He doesn’t know, but it was never anyone else’s. Always him. Always. He breaks his mouth from mine, trailing his lips down my neck. “I want all of you this time, Laney. Please, don’t shut me out.”

  His begging is making my heart ache. I never wanted to shut him out. I moan as he brings his lips back up to mine. He groans into my mouth and pushes me toward the small loveseat. “Wider,” he demands. I obey, opening my mouth wider, letting his tongue slid into my mouth.

  I moan, first in outrage from the hormones raking against my insides, then in helpless surrender as he finds my tongue. I remember Heather’s words: he fucked your mouth. And that is exactly what he is doing now. Marking me. Fucking me with his mouth. Christ. I grab his shirt and pull him closer to me.

  A low growl escapes his throat and he spreads my legs wider with his thigh, settling himself between the cradle of my legs. God. I can feel his cock hard against me. My own aching sex is throbbing. I want him so bad it hurts. I’m so hot I grab my dress and pull it over my head, quickly.

  Lachlan is staring down at me, his eyes taking in my body. My lacey bra and panties are tight and leave nothing to the imagination. “Fucking shit,” Lachlan growls, grabbing my hip and squeezing. “I can’t stand the thought of anyone else seeing you like this. Only me. I want it to only be me, luv.”

  I screw my eyes shut. “It’s only you. I haven’t…I mean, Aiden and I haven’t. We haven’t had sex.”

  A brief look of relief washes over his face, and it’s replaced with hunger. “God, you have no idea how excited I am to hear that.”

  Blood is boiling under my cheeks as he stares down at me. His eyes flicker to mine, before he dips his head and traces his tongue against the edge of my bra. I arch my back. The feel of his tongue warms me until I’m scorching underneath.

  “God, baby. Tell me you’ll leave him. Tell me you’re mine.”

  I cry out, not because I’ve always been his but because it hurts so much. It hurts to see him over me. To replay our memories. My eyes are starting to water when I hear a light rap of knuckles against the outside of the door.

  “Christ,” Lachlan says, jumping up. He grabs my dress and points toward the window. “It’s our only choice, luv. Come on.”

  “Not again,” I mumble.

  Lachlan pulls up the window and gestures for me to go first. The doorknob is wiggling again, harder this time. That flimsy door is going to pop open at any minute. This lights a fire under my ass, and I crawl onto the windowsill and shimmy my way through the window.

  I hear a slight chuckle behind me but I’m too worried about the door to give a damn that Lachlan is staring at my ass. I land with a loud ump and straighten myself up. Despite Lachlan’s size, he slips through the window and lands so much more gracefully than me.

  Once he is standing upright, I hear the office door swing opened. Savannah is standing in the doorway, another woman at her side. She searches the room and her eyes land on the window.

  “Shit,” I mumble, running toward the back of the building. Lachlan is right behind me, my dress in his right fist. “Can I have that back?”

  Lachlan’s eyes move from the corner of the building to me, a hunger deep within them. “As soon as you tell me why you’re dating him.”

  Fuck. I don’t have time for this now. “Look, Lachlan. I will tell you whatever you want as long as you give me my dress back. In ten seconds Savannah is going to come around that corner and see me in my underwear and your shirt unbuttoned. I don’t want to deal with that right now. Please, hand it over.”

  Lachlan’s jaw clenches but he hands me my dress. I slip it on and fix my hair. Sighing, I slide against the brick wall.

  “Tell me.”

  Screwing my eyes shut, I shake my head. “It’s not what you think. I just—I’m so confused.” I hold my
face in my hands and try not to cry. “This has gotten so out of control.”

  “What’s out of control? Tell me, I can help you.” Lachlan bends his knees, presses his palms on my shoulders, and demands I take my hands from my face. “Tell me, luv. I promise I’ll do whatever I can to help.”

  I want to tell him. I want him to know I never liked Aiden. But, I don’t want him to know that I never liked Aiden. What kind of heartless monster would lead someone on with the goal of breaking his heart?

  I shake my head and stand up straight. “I need to get back in there. I don’t want him coming around here and seeing us.”

  Lachlan’s jaw clenches and he presses me against the wall. “Well, luv, I want a lot of things. But it seems I’m not getting them. Tell me and I’ll let you go.”

  “No,” I press my lips together. “I’m not. I won’t.

  Anger fills Lachlan’s face and he rips his hands away from me. “God,” he yells. “Stop running from me. I’m standing here for you. I want you!”

  My body is quivering. Lachlan’s eyes are wide, his hands out to his sides, his chest hard beneath his half-unbuttoned shirt. How can I walk away from him again? How did I let myself get this far away from reality? Why can’t I forgive myself? I just want a normal relationship. I want Lachlan how we used to be. I want him. But, I don’t deserve him.

  Tears are falling down my face now. I can’t help but let them run their course. Sobs are breaking from my throat and as much as it hurts to cry, it hurts worse to try and stop them.

  “I’m so sorry, Lachlan. I just—I can’t forgive myself. I don’t deserve you.” I know I’m being fucking stupid. But, I can’t make myself fall into him again. I’ll get sucked into him, love him, only to be reminded of my mistakes. Reminded of my selfishness. I can’t.

  A single tear falls from his face, and my heart breaks into a million pieces. I feel them fall into oblivion. “Baby,” he whispers. “Please, you have to forgive yourself. I forgave you right away. Let me show you there is another way to live with this. I will pick up every piece of your heart and put them back together slowly. Give me a chance, please. I’ll take care of you, luv. Always.”

  Christ. A sob breaks from my throat and I try to hold myself up with my hands. “Lachlan—”

  “Lachlan? Laney?”

  Savannah is standing at the edge of the building, her brows furrowed. Her hands are intertwined in front of her. She’s changed from her wedding dress into a simple white summer dress. “Um, I was—I didn’t mean to interrupt. I was—” she trails off, looking between the two of us. “Do you two know each other? Why is your…why is your shirt unbuttoned?”

  “Damn it.” I press my lips into a hard straight line and try to catch my breath. “Savannah, I’m going to leave now. Aiden is most likely in the bathroom. I need you—can you tell him I’m going home?”

  She nods and bites her lip. I know she wants to say something, and I don’t blame her. I’m dating her cousin and I’m behind the building with another man.

  Lachlan growls and grabs my elbow. “This isn’t over, luv.” His whispers send chills through me.

  Snatching my arm away, I walk around the reception hall, not looking back.

  My tears finally stop when I’m halfway home. I don’t think I can produce any more. I see Heather’s car pull up beside me. She gives me a pitying glare. “Get in.”

  I don’t ask how she knows I’m walking home, because I know that they saw everything. Well, at least heard it.

  I slide in and cross my ankles. “I don’t know what to do.”

  Heather is quiet for a few seconds, and I wait, watching the building blur into nothing. “You need to end it with Aiden. Then you need to grow a pair and stop running from Lachlan.”

  What. The. Fuck. “What?”

  She gives me a one-shouldered shrug, but doesn’t look me in the eye. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened between the two of you in high school but look around. We’re not in high school anymore. He obviously cares about you, and you’re pushing him away. He loves you. You love him. He is willing to forgive you for whatever monstrosity you think you’ve committed. Let him take care of you, luv.” She gives me a weak smile and then turns the radio up.

  I stare out the window, blank-faced the rest of the way home. I know Heather’s right. I know that I need to forgive myself. But how? I haven’t been able to talk about it since that night. Not to anyone. It’s been four years and I haven’t told a soul.

  “Bethany is pleased. One of her friends was at the wedding and said Aiden almost ran to the bathroom.”

  I scoff and close my eyes. “Well, she got her wish. I’m going to break up with him this weekend or Monday. I can’t look at him anymore. I feel like shit. He may have been an asshole, but I don’t think he deserves to get his heartbroken. I should have never said yes.”

  Heather nods, but doesn’t say anything. There isn’t anything to say. When we get back to our dorm room, Heather leaves to see Todd. I know that’s another way of giving me my space. God knows I need it.

  I check my phone and I have several messages from Aiden. I prayed the entire way home that Savannah didn’t tell Aiden about Lachlan and me. I want to be the one to do it. He deserves to hear it from me. Not anyone else. Me.

  I send him a quick text, telling him I wasn’t feeling too well. Then I fall into a deep, dark sleep.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Lachlan

  “But anyway I think you’re bionic

  And I don’t think you’re beautiful,

  I think you’re beyond it” - Lil' Wayne

  The restaurant is huge. The kitchen is any chef’s dream. Wide, stainless-steel cabinets, huge tile floors, pans hanging from hooks above every station. Anyone would have to be high to deny this opportunity.

  “You like?” she asks.

  I glance over at Cynthia. She is smiling at me, her clipboard close to her chest. She is my new manager. Her ideas for the place are great. I couldn’t ask for anything better. And the pay…damn.

  “I love,” I say, swiping my thumb over the corner of my mouth. “I’m moving into my apartment today. I’m all set. I just need to get my things shipped over here.”

  She nods and fixes her glasses on her slender nose. “We’re opening next weekend, Lachlan. Is that enough time?”

  I run my fingers through my hair. “Of course. It’s plenty of time. All I need to do is learn the menu this week.”

  She nods and pushes a stray hair behind her ear. “Right. It was such a pleasure meeting you. I tasted a bit of your Baked Alaska that Dr. Phillips brought by. Delicious. The owner is thinking about adding it to the menu. It’s not Italian, but it’s sooo delicious.” She closes her eyes and I laugh.

  “Thank you, luv. I just…love to cook. I’ve always put it on the back burner, because my mum never really liked the idea. I’m from the outback. She thinks men should hold shovels and do manly work only.” I roll my eyes.

  She hides her laugh behind her hand. “I don’t think you’re lacking in the manly department, Lachlan.”

  I raise an eyebrow. Openly flirting? Isn’t there a rule against employees dating? “Why thank you, luv.”

  She blushes and moves her eyes toward her clipboard. Back to business. “Okay, we’ll see you this coming week. We’ll be in touch.”

  We say our goodbyes and I head toward the EXIT. The wind shutters over my face, making me smile. How did this even happen? I entered the contest to keep Lucas from begging. Now, I’ve won and I’m here to stay.

  But why?

  I had always said I would never come back. My mum almost lost her composure when I told her I was moving back to Florida. She cried. She’s oversensitive.

  I knew why. I knew the exact moment I came to the conclusion I would stay. When I cornered Laney in the alley. My presence affecting her as much as she affected me. I would stay because I couldn’t bear to let her go again.

  “Hey, you going to daydream all day or are you going to get in
the damn car?” I snap out of my daze and glance over at Lucas.

  His car window is down and he is snapping his fingers at me. I roll my eyes and get into the passenger seat.

  “Well, how was it?”

  I laugh. “Fucking amazing. The kitchen is great. The restaurant in general is flawless. I can’t believe I’m getting the chance to do this. To cook. I’ve always done things my mum wanted me to, like a fucking kid. Now, it’s my turn. I’m gonna rock this shit.”

  “Yeah, buddy,” Lucas says. “So, I sent out all the invitations today. Via email and text.”

  I furrow my brow. “Invitations to what, exactly?”

  “Your celebration party. It’s tonight. We need to get your apartment set up and head back to my place. It’s going to be off the fucking chain, bro.”

  Christ. I close my eyes for the briefest of seconds and then open them back up. Lucas looks excited, and I don’t have the balls to let him down. “Great. I need to relax.” What I really need is to see her.

  Yesterday. Jesus, I almost had her. She almost let her walls down. She was crumbling, letting it out, when Savannah showed up. I clench my fists and look out the window. “Did you—did you invite Laney?”

  Lucas is quiet for a moment. “Yes, was I not supposed to? I sent her an email earlier today.”

  I sigh. “It’s fine. I want her there, even though I’m sure she won’t show up.”

  “She might. But, I’m not sure it’s that great of an idea for her to come.”

  I glance over at him and frown. “Why the bloody hell not?”

  “Because, Savannah saw you two behind the building yesterday. She thinks you two are…I told her you dated in high school but nothing was going on now. She is cousins with Aiden. Her boyfriend. Do you remember him?”

  I scoff. “How could I forget the twit? And…” I trail off and scratch my neck. “I don’t think she likes him. She is always rolling her eyes, and avoiding him. Not to mention I think she slipped something in his drink yesterday.”

  Lucas lets out a loud laugh. “You mean that’s the reason why he was in the bathroom all afternoon? Why in the fuck would she do that to him? It doesn’t make any sense.”